The acceptance.

You can't say no when asked to be a bridesmaid.

Ok, you can, but realize when a bride asks you to be one of her bridesmaids she most likely has made a careful and deliberate decision to choose you. It is not a proposal to be taken lightly. However, knowing the costs and time that are married with this responsibility, you need to make a careful decision in accepting this role. If you are not sure if you have the time or money to carry out this duty well, here are some tips in moving forward.

Be realistic from the get go. If you have a chaotic schedule and time is an issue, be upfront with the bride from the very beginning. Let her know that you want to help in whatever way you can, but that it will be really hard to contribute in time wise. Also, let the bridesmaids know too so they won't think you are non-committal jerk.

If money is an issue, be up front about your situation as well. Let your bridal party know your budget and how much you can contribute. I've heard stories of bridesmaids bailing last minute on bachelorette party weekends because they were too embarrassed to say they couldn't afford it. It hurt the bride's feelings and pissed off the bridesmaids because they had to cover costs for the flaky bridesmaid. It's more important to say you won't be there from the beginning so you can manage expectations of the bride and bridesmaids than create uneccessary drama and a sad bride.

Bow out, but be present. If I didn't know the bride well, and if both money and time were extreme scarcities I might consider declining. However, this would be a hard decision for me. But honestly, the bride needs bmaids that will give her the time and support to get her to the wedding day smoothly. If you can't help, you might make the process more stressful than it needs to be. It's in her best interest and her bridesmaids' interest to have a bridesmaid that is available and financially stable. As an alternative, offer to be there to support her in any way she needs. Need help assembling wedding favors? Dress shopping? Invite stuffing? Ushering? Snacks for the bridal party on the wedding day? You're her girl.

Easier said than done. I know. In the back of my mind I know that, if something is important enough to me, I will make the time and money to do it. So, consider your acceptance carefully. Because when you committ to being a bridesmaid, you need to be in all the way.

Now it's story time. Have you ever declined a bridesmaid proposal? How did it go down?